Cookie sheets

Shopping is agony, have you noticed? Especially at this time of year,when every Tom, Dick and Harriet, Uncle Bob, and their dog is out shopping too. Uncle Bob tends to browse and wander very very slowly, while Harriet stands in the middle of the aisle examining her list. Tom and Dick circle the same department again and again like a plane waiting for clearance to land. They do this two-abreast so no one else can land in the meantime.

Despite the firm resolve to keep a simple Christmas, and a long-standing tradition of restrained giftgiving, there are still supplies and sundries to be purchased which necessitates leaving the warm safety of home to brave the madness of the shops...and roads.

First of all, this city is experiencing a bus strike, which means the usually high number of cars on the roads is even higher. Then, the modern idea of a parking lot is not about ease-of-use. The entrances are obscure, the right-of-ways are unclear, pedestrians set themselves up as easy targets, and never can you find a spot near the store you are going to visit.

Then, there is the actual frustration of shopping. Products are discontinued or 'improved' on a monthly basis (do not become attached to your shampoo; it's not going to be available for long.) Sometimes the choice is overwhelming, and can require hours of consultation and discernment.

What I was looking for on this occasion was a cookie sheet. You'd presume it would be fairly straightforward, the work of merely seconds to scan the options, toss it in the cart and dash to the nearest (or rather shortest) checkout and escape the vast-store-that-sells-everything before it absorbs you whole. (I'm sure poor lost people wander the aisles everyday calling out 'exit! exit! in a desperate plea to be magically removed from their surroundings. It's no stretch of reality that a book and movie had a young woman live in the store and deliver her baby in that store without anyone having a clue she was there.)

Wouldn't you know it: cookie sheets have become complicated over the years. There were so many to choose from, I needed a map to find my way back to the beginning of the selection. There are different finishes, depths, rims, shapes, sizes...it was almost intimidating...and I once bungee-jumped, so I'm not super easy to intimidate. Regardless, a choice was made, the checkout was braved, the road home was driven, parcels were brought into the house and de-bagged, and the hard won cookie sheet was prepped for a test run in the oven. Only to find it didn't fit. Either the sheet is too big, or the oven is too small. Who knew that ovens are not universal in size, and that a standard full-size home would have a dainty little one? After trying the cookie sheet (several times, as if the first time was a mistake)at different angles and directions to confirm that it was indeed too large to fit, I realized that yes, it was rather bigger than others I'd bought in the past. It's a nifty thing though, with one rimless side so the cookies would theoretically slide right off onto the cooling rack, and the short sides had little wing-like bits perfect for clutching safely in mitted hands. I would like to point out that nowhere on its fact sheet does it mention it happens to be awkwardly out-sized and essentially useless to the averagely-ovened person.

Today I once again braved the roads and shops to hunt down normal, featureless cookie sheets. I grabbed the nearsest and cheapest one off the rack, went through the self-serve checkout and rather disparagingly brought it home. Two outings, hours of endurance, agonies of decision...and it was all worth it. We now have full cookie tins and happy tummies, and Christmas is coming soon!