The Lighthouse

the lighthouse

18 May 2009

Social networking

You know what I'm talking about when I discreetly allude to a widely used social networking site. Some have called it "Crack Book" for the reason it can be very addictive. Going there can be like stepping into a black hole. Black holes are notoriously difficult to back away from, and when you emerge from them, you never know what time it is.


Black holes also have their own rules of etiquette which can seem like veritable minefields to the uninitiated. For instance: what to do about the person who wants to be your friend, but you can't quite remember how you know them (you suspect they are really just trying to pad their numbers); is there an acceptable way to dump someone off your list of friends (it has become awkward reading their updates since you haven't actually been in the same hemisphere as each other for twenty years and you now feel you know more about them than you should, considering you wouldn't recognize them on the street)...just to name two mildly pickley scenarios.


I have more than one 'friend' of whom I know more about through social networking than I do from actual life. For instance, there's the guy from Wales who loves rugby more than football, and has developed a fondness for online poker. His friend Davey likes curry and Dido, but we weren't supposed to know that, only Wales guy posted it on the wall. Oops. Wales guy is no longer on my list. There's the guy I've known forever, but the Crack Book version of him is not someone I ever knew. I'd normally delete him, but sentiment, nostalgia... maybe even guilt? are keeping me from clicking on that 'x'. I figure the side he's shown me all along is also him, and that's the friend I'm holding on to.

This topic came to mind last night while I was chatting with yet another friend online. We share an interest in music and movies, and we both had similar vagabond upbringings, but that's pretty much the extent of our connection. The conversation was engrossing - I enjoy talking over someone's taste in music, and discovering what they thought about the latest something or other movie (catch that quote?) but at the same time, it was a little surreal to suddenly be in the middle of a conversation with someone a province away.

I remind myself that not every contact I have in real life is full of deep significance either, but I don't cut those people out of my life, so perhaps I ought to cut my Crack Book 'friends' some slack too. Perhaps the forced superficiality of some of those relationships keeps me from taking myself too seriously? That can't be a bad thing, and maybe that's the great benefit of social networking: it's not connection so much as correction.

2 comments:

  1. someone we both know, would say at this point; 'you'r getting too deep here, miss E'... I personally think that the use of the word 'friends' is a misnomer... I, myself make the distinction, in my head at least, of you are an aquaintance, and you are a friend... over almost 6 decades of life, I have very few whom I call 'friends' and,more than a few whom I recognize as 'aquaintances' many, many more are simply on the fringes and recognized by me, as the Brits used to say, 'nodding aquaintance'.

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  2. Indeed, and I agree on the distinction between friend and acquaintance. Crack Book, however, does not, which caused my difficulty in whether to jettison or not, certain individuals. Once I accepted the altered interpretation of the term in this particular context, I wasn't as clenched about my requirements as to who I accepted as a 'friend' and could just enjoy the connection, however superficial, the medium provides.

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