28 June 2009
I like my life, but I wonder what it's like for other people. It's hard for me to tell cause I'm in it.
I wonder what I really look like. I can't tell when I look in the mirror, 'cause that's just a reflection, not the real me
(Both from Number 2 Nephew, who turns out to be quite a philosopher at the ripe old age of seven.)
15 June 2009
I am going to take some time away from the Lighthouse just for a few days. I have some important work to do, which in order to be done well really deserves all of my focus. I promise to be back shortly, and hope you will rejoin me then.
If you are so inclined, do please say a prayer for me and my endeavors.
10 June 2009
This post has little to do with any of that, except that JB and I have a theory about Crazy Car Lady and her crazy car antics: being new to Canada and North American car culture, she isn't entirely comfortable with the notion of owning a car, and doesn't really know what to do with it. She is trying to learn by observation, but can't really make sense of all the to-ing and fro-ing of cars up and down our street. She tries to participate, but doesn't get it quite right. She's keeping up appearances.
Bill tends to think that JB and I exaggerate every story he hears from us, and the CCL episoded were no different. Until he witnessed it himself yesterday. CCL came out of her house, got in the car, drove into another driveway, reversed, and then parked on the street in front of our house. In front of our driveway in fact. Right in front. She went back into the house, came out again, and moved her car forward so that it no longer blocked our cars. Odd, right?
Today, as I came home from work, she came out of her house, got in her car -- which was parked in her driveway once more -- and drove away. But in the opposite direction from what I was expecting. We live on a crescent, and one way is very short to the main road, and the other takes days to the main road. (well, come on...obviously not, but I'm making a point here). She took the long way. By the time I had gathered groceries and such, there she came again, and parked on the street in front of her house this time. She had driven around in a big circle so she could move her car onto the street.
This is becoming quite a lot of fun!
08 June 2009
07 June 2009
04 June 2009
Ordinary gets a bad rap these days. Nobody tries to sell you ordinary laundry detergent. Colleges do not woo potential students by leveraging themselves as the place where ordinary people hoping for ordinary futures go. You don't hear about ordinary vacation destinations, or homes for sale with ordinary siding, ordinary kitchens, ordinary backyards. To be of value, it would seem a thing - or a person - must be out of the ordinary way.
Ordinary is pretty nearly the perfect condition for a human being to be in. Ordinary is where we mix and mingle and be. Ordinary is where God meets us every day as we clean the dishes, or pound the keyboard for a living. However, as in all things God-related, there is a fundamental paradox: I am a bespoke creation - there is not another one out there quite like me. There is nothing ordinary about that.
03 June 2009
This sparkly blue vee-hicle was parked in the usual way, unassumingly in the driveway. The man, however, was removing things from the trunk area of the car, piling it in the driveway,then putting it back in the car. Now, to you reading this, you are imagining yourself doing the same thing, aren't you? Perhaps you've been on a camping trip, and there is a defined lot of goods which need to be packed in the car, and you may have to take things out of the trunk, and try all over again, in order to make it fit. Mr. CCL was not doing that sort of dance, however. He would take something out, close the trunk gate thing, circle the car, open the trunk gate thing, put the something back in, maybe open the back car door, close up the car, go to his front door, then return to the trunk. All the while, stuff is being shifted from trunk to driveway, occasionally to the back seat and so on. It was most peculiar.
My sister pointed out that Mr. and Mrs. Crazy Car Lady may not, in fact, be married. They may be brother and sister, or perhaps strange and indifferent acquaintances, randomly sharing a suburban home. That could be very true but I`m so accustomed to the names I`ve given them, they shall remain Mr. and Mrs. CCL to me. I miss her, actually; it`s been almost a week since I`ve seen her drive up and down her driveway. She may have racked up the courage to tackle the wider world, now that the roads are clear of ice and snow, and is even now on her way to the Quickie on the corner.
01 June 2009
I haven't looked into whether that's a natural part of the grieving process, and is therefore 'ok' for me to be experiencing, or if this is something I've constructed myself in order to stop the daily occurance of that moment - the one where I remember he's gone, that death really did happen to him. In order to maintain that illusion, however, I've had to shut down contact with reality in many other ways. Oh, I'm not wandering around town believing myself to be in Saint Tropez, with a tinfoil hat on my head so I can hear Walt Disney when he calls to say it's time to thaw him out. I've just had to reel in my receptors a bit, so I don't feel things quite so much for a while.
That's all well and good -- psychologically speaking -- but professionally speaking, it leaves me with nothing to write about... except the fact that I have nothing to write about! The Five Month day had another focus to it, and one which forced me into a confrontation with myself. That could be a juicy piece, but from here in my shell it looks far too earnest. No thanks.
There's a bit I'd love to write, about the things I see on my way to work each morning, but my inner landscape is so dry right now, I'd suck all the fun out of that piece: Tattoo lady? Humdrum. Walking dentists? Unremarkable. Massive, hard-core military survival vehicles used for urban leisure driving? So post-modern. How about two year old boys 'gardening' with their Tonka trucks over the potted tomato plants? I got nothin' people!